Tag Archives: humour

A Twickenham Christmas Message From Santa

Hooray! And a Ho Ho Ho too. Santa’s been to Twickenham to deliver this special video message just for the good people of the town….

(And a very big thanks to Claud Gibson, a very talented musician for letting us use her track – hear it properly right here.


And in other Christmas and New Year news…

First of all a very big thank you for taking the time to read this website over the last 12 months. It’s you, the great twickerati of Twickenham, that make running this site just about worthwhile. Every single member of the team here at the twickerati blog HQ appreciates it, from the canteen staff and the humblest sub-editors through to the chief reporter, editor-in-chief and non-executive directors. Even the company chauffeur values your engagement. In fact, it’s only the shareholders who have expressed any concern after another year of no dividends.

But what a year it’s been! We’ve had an election, a massive (read: MASSIVE) scrap about a new home for a certain royal barge, plenty of shops closing, plenty of shops opening, 20mph limits introduced, summer festivals, big traffic jams, new look pavements, school site shenanigans and El Brute’s purchase of land for a town square. We’ve had heated arguments about every single one of them. Or rather, you have. And there have even been a few constructive suggestions too. Lovely stuff.

And what about 2015? We’ve got a General Election, the Rugby World Cup, plenty of shops closing, plenty of shops opening, battles over a third runway at Heathrow, traffic jams and yet more feisty and occasionally entertaining debate on all things Twickenham. That Alexander Pope wordy bloke would be well proud of you.

And so without further ado we say, Merry Christmas to you all and very best wishes for a Happy New Year.

You can even add your own 2015 predictions below if you feel the urge.


Filed under Local Issues & News, Random Stuff

Pic of the Week: Heathrow vs The Arts

Expand the Arts not Heathrow! Whilst in no way condoning the defacement of adverts (of course, etc) we did find this one rather amusing. It’s on the corner of Staines Road and Elmsleigh Road and should raise a chuckle with the retired thesps in Brinsworth House opposite. Hey, perhaps there’s a connection? Look out for an aged actor armed with spray can and a long ladder roaming the streets of Twickenham after dark.

'Expand Heathrow' poster in Twickenham [courtesy of & copyright: Jodie Holland aka @dutchmrs on Twitter]

‘Expand Heathrow’ poster in Twickenham
[courtesy of & copyright: Jodie Holland aka @dutchmrs on Twitter]

Photo courtesy & we suppose copyright of Jodie Holland aka @dutchmrs on Twitter. As to a credit for the original artwork, we’re not entirely sure.


Filed under Heathrow, Pix of the Week, Random Stuff

Pic of the Week: Do As I Say, Not As I Do!

Richmond Council are laying down the law. To themselves. In an unusual piece of Kafkaesque logic El Brute have advised everyone, including themselves, that putting up posters in empty shops is simply not allowed. The law will be enforced! And the best way to communicate this message? By means of posters in empty shops of course. Or perhaps it’s simply a Council job creation scheme. As they’re no doubt saying down at the civic offices, “See me in court, sucker!”.


Irony post?


Filed under Pix of the Week, Random Stuff

Pic of the Week: A Lego Boathouse

Here at twickerati HQ we like a challenge and we also like to be helpful. Like many people we’ve been struggling to get our brains around the true size of the Gloriana boathouse plan. Will it be big? Will it be small? How will it look in Orleans Gardens? What will be its true size? With that in mind we set out to do what neither Foster & Partners nor Richmond Council have managed to do so far, and that’s to translate the proposed boathouse size into something that everyone can understand. So through the medium of Lego we did just that. A Lego person is 4cm high, assume that to be 1.77m tall and scale that up to El Brute’s possible external dimensions (cited at the consultation) of a 36m long, 12m wide and 7m high building. Voila! We’ve got ourselves the basics of a little boathouse, God bless us. But then we ran out of Lego.

Boathouse (Lego scale)

Boathouse (Lego scale)

Lego Gloriana boathouse

Lego Gloriana boathouse

You can’t comment on this item, but our current Gloriana thread is open for business and can be accessed here.

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Filed under Council, Gloriana boathouse, Local Issues & News, Pix of the Week, Random Stuff

Alright, pet? And the winner is…

A few weeks ago we began the search to find Twickenham’s cutest pet. We said there was no prize on offer. We lied. Such was the torrent of fine looking felines and cute canines that you drew to our attention that we asked a few local businesses if they’d like to judge the contenders and offer a prize. And guess what? Those friendly folk at Sweetie Pies Boutique Bakery on Church Street took up the challenge. Better still, they’ve offered not one but two prizes. God, don’t you just love this whole local thing? You can see the mighty Twickenham pet parade via the link below but… drum roll.. the winner and runner up are:

First place – and the recipient of a voucher for afternoon tea for two at Sweetie Pies – is… Muffin! Or rather Muffin’s owner @rainbowlem. Top snapping Rainbowlem!


The runner up – doing it for the dogs is… or rather are… Little and Large as pictured by Dave. Result! Dave’s just got himself a £10 voucher to get all caked up at Sweetie Pies. Nice work Dave.

Awww. How cute? Little & Large.   (Photo: David)

Awww. How cute? Little & Large. (Photo: David)


A big thanks to all who took part in the non-competition, to our prize giver, of course, to our winner and runner up.

Sweetie Pies






* Twickenham’s Cutest Pet
* Sweetie Pies Boutique Bakery

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Filed under Random Stuff

It’s Time to Find…. Twickenham’s Cutest Pet!

Some websites are famous for their obsession with cats. Others achieve greatness by featuring dogs that look like TV celebrities or by showing 20 rabbits that in some way resemble 18th century Dutch landscape painters. Not here. We don’t do that kind of thing. This site is all about Twickenham. But stop and think for a second and guess what? People in Twickenham own pets. Pets have rights. And what’s more, pets now have the right to be featured in this item! SO LET’S FIND TWICKENHAM’S CUTEST PET!

Got a nice picture of your pooch, or a snap of your cute moggy? (And yes we did have to think carefully about how we phrased that). Well if you do, drop us a link in the comments section or send it in an email to twickerati@gmail.com. There’s no prize, no competition, just the sense of enormous wellbeing that comes from having pictures of animals online, and local animals at that.

UPDATE on 20 May 2014: Because this has been so popular we’re seeing if we can find a local business to judge it and donate a small prize. As a result, we’ll not be posting any more pet pictures until that’s been done.

To kick off proceedings, here’s Cheeky G looking mighty fine soaking up some Twickenham sunshine at @twickerman‘s residence.

Cheeky G (courtesy of @twickerman)

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Filed under Features, Pix of the Week, Random Stuff

Twickenham Action Plan – Phase 2 Announced

With the regeneration of Twickenham continuing, Richmond Council (aka LBRuT) are now looking further ahead to ensure that, in their words, “the town builds on its recent successes and continues to develop in a way that’s fit for the future”. El Brute’s planning gurus have been thinking big thoughts about what the town should look like by the final years of the next decade. A project, called “Twickenham 2026” is being led by external consultants but has the full support of El Brute. The main challenge they’re looking to solve is how to capitalise on current roads and pavements work whilst accommodating the ever-increasing demand for property and the knock-on effect on school places, traffic and local services. It’s basically phase 2 of the Twickenham Action Plan (aka TWAP2).
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Filed under Local Issues & News, Random Stuff

New Sign Planned To Put Twickenham On The Map

Richmond Council will promote the Borough’s various ‘villages’ by using a Hollywood style sign on Richmond Hill. The aim is to increase awareness of the different parts of the borough by erecting 45 foot high letters spelling out the name of each village. Twickenham is first to go and the sign will stay in place for two months before being replaced by Teddington in June. Richmond itself is next in line for the treatment. Plans to follow that with East Sheen have been put back until 2015 as the Council grapple with the thorny problem of how best to represent the space between the words ‘East’ and ‘Sheen’. A consultation on this point will take place and will be followed by an online referendum and a substantial delay.

Of the plans, a Council spokesperson said, “The wonderful view from the top of Richmond Hill is very famous and, quite rightly, protected. This new scheme gives borough residents something to enjoy when looking back up at the Hill. Passengers taking off and landing at Heathrow airport will also be able to see this iconic new landmark and we hope it will encourage new visitors to our towns. At night the lettering will be picked out in green neon. It’s a win win arrangement for the Borough of Richmond”.

The consultation opens on 1st April with full details available on El Brute’s newly revamped website.

So, will this put Richmond on the map or is it just another gimmick? Have your say below.

Another proposal to put Twickenham on the map

Proposal to put Twickenham on the map

UPDATE: In a press release dated 11.59am on 01/04/14 Richmond Council announced that after a backlash from residents on Richmond Hill the plans have now been shelved.


Filed under Local Issues & News, Pix of the Week, Random Stuff

Twas The Night Before Twickmas….

And here’s a little Twickenham Christmas something to read aloud as you sit by the fire on Christmas Eve.

or “A Visit From Saint Nicholas”

not by Clement Clarke Moore

Twas the night before Twickmas and all through the town,
Not a creature was stirring, the shops had closed down,
No stockings were hung on the chimneys for fear,
That El Brute’s famous leader, Lord True, would appear.

El Brute and Nick True planned to make Twickenham better,
Sending plans out to all in a ‘village’ newsletter,
The Twickenham Action Plan, known as the TWAP,
Contained fine aspirations but also some crap.
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Filed under Random Stuff