Bollards! Plus Trees & Old Comedy

So what if it’s silly season and we’re all scrabbling around for local news. That’s just the way it goes dear friends. Here are three things to help you get through mid August.

Never Mind the Bollards!  That certainly seems to be the case for some drivers in Twickenham. We’re talking about the one on the corner of Wharf Lane and King Street designed to stop people cutting across the pavement as they turn left.  It’s become a bit of a problem for some drivers and, whilst we all enjoy a bit of schadenfreude (don’t we?), it might be time for El Brute to do something about it. Bollard ‘strandings’ seem to happen every few months. Still, it makes a change from watching cars get flooded at the riverside.

The culprit


Ouch! Me bollards!   (as pictured in April by Martin Oxley)



The battle scarred bollard, Twickenham

And here’s one pictured recently as seen by @sockslondon.

Talking of trees, which we weren’t, it looks as if the owners of the new Twickenham House site on Heath Road might be interested in removing three large trees at the edge of the property.  The reason? A new report commissioned by a “third party” says they’re not great trees. Boo hoo. They’re currently covered by a tree preservation order (TPO) and El Brute’s planning committee meeting on 16th August will be considering whether to retain or ditch the TPO in the light of this new “report”. Some might speculate as to whether getting rid of the trees is just an early step on the road to developing that shady corner of the site.  It’s just possible we suppose. The Planning Recommendation is, at the moment, to maintain the TPO but if you do have views on the matter then you can try to get in touch with the LBRuT planning committee.


Trees by Twickenham House


And finally, fans of Dick Emery and residents of Laurel Avenue might like this YouTube clip that twickerati follower Rob alerted us to. If you do the Venn diagram for Emery fans and Laurel residents and you’re in the all important zone for “fans of Dick Emery who live in Laurel Avenue” then you’ll be in comedy heaven right now. All we can say is, “Ooh, you are awful, but we like you”.




Filed under Local Issues & News, Pix of the Week, Random Stuff

12 responses to “Bollards! Plus Trees & Old Comedy

  1. Janet Slingsby

    Hi Twickerati

    thank you for the posts – I really enjoy them. I was wondering if Twickerati knows anything about the large EU flag flying from a flagpole in the front garden of 50 Clifden Road in Twickenham. If someone is trying to keep Twickenham in the EU I would like to support them….

    • Not seen the flag. Obviously a part of Twickenham that will forever be Remain. Future EU embassy to Twickenham perhaps?

    • Adam Tarshis

      Where is St. Vince living these days?

    • Riverside Voter

      It is actually in Copthall Gardens not Clifden, and made an appearance in a couple of BBC politics shows. St Vince is however, not exactly hiding for the last more than decade, on Whitton Road.

  2. Riverside Voter

    I see the Planning Committee voted unanimously in favour of the trees, the Council’s tree person’s rubbishing of the “third party report” and the wishes of the people who actually live in Twickenham House and look out on them. Hard to see why the leaseholder went to the expense of trying it on in the first place unless it was for personal gain but good to see them foiled…… Actually that would be foiled again, didn’t they try it on with the comedy paving?

  3. anonymouse

    Well done Mr Bollard.
    You’re doing an excellent job.
    We could do with a few more of your sort along King Street to stop vehicles parking across the cycle lanes and onto the pavements. There’s a car park and a service road either side of King Street. Use them.

  4. Adam Tarshis

    Talking of bollards, I can’t believe Dick Emery was ever thought to be funny.

    • illiad

      you ought to see a doctor about that broken humor bone… :/

    • Doug Stamper

      It’s not the funniest. As usual the YouTube comments are great though. The sketch includes several references to adultery, robbery, grievous bodily harm, prostitution and kidnap, but at least he didn’t swear. Eeeee things aren’t as good as they used to be, when we sent our kids into dangerous work, car crashes meant instant death for all involved, and people would be crippled for life by Polio. 😉

      Very interesting to see Laurel Avenue as it was in the past. Very few cars on the street, which may be due to them filming but I expect that’s just how it was. I’m impressed that someone who owned #60 since got rid of that terrible front door and put in a decent replica of an original. #58 have some proper windows again too. Also interesting to see that numbers 64 & 66 had already been destroyed by then.

      And of course, there are no trees on the pavement.

      As for the bollard, they should just close off that street. It causes a lot of issues because in true London fashion, people pull out of it, intending to go along Heath road, and block the fliter lane.
      Or at least make it one-way in the other direction, and reverse Water Lane too.

      I’ve never actually seen anyone stuck on the bollard. I feel I’ve missed out.

  5. David

    I can see the reason for the bollard, but its low profile means that it is far from evident, especially to van drivers. Why can’t ElBrute install a proper waist-high bollard rather than this subterranean obstacle? Sponsored by car repairers is it?

  6. Totolover

    The trouble with that turning is that if traffic is queuing in the outside lane then the near lane is too narrow to turn into. Taking that corner as tight as you have to is nigh impossible without mounting the curb. The council needs to look at the junction and think about a cutaway curb or some other solution rather than just dumping an obstacle that makes matters worse. My husband who is an experienced driver ( no, not yet senile) ripped a groove into the door of my car this weekend trying to grt out of Water Lane without ramming into an R70 bus.

  7. Rather a bollard than guardrails to pen pedestrians in their place. Another reason for not using the Riverside as a car-park.

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