Here’s a scene that raises one simple question. Why? These new flats on Heath Road, called Twickenham House, have given rise to some comedy paving or perhaps it’s actually modern art, we’re not entirely sure. What seems to have happened is that once upon a time there was a pavement with a line of edging stones next to a building, then some hoardings were put up to allow construction work to take place and then the builders decided to make the line of the hoardings the precise line for the intersection of the old pavement and their attempt at new paving. The result? Something that looks like this…
If that’s the quality of finishing for the outside space we can only hope that they’ve done a better job on the inside. Is it actually finished? We don’t know but we hope Richmond Council’s planning bods are taking a long hard look at it, assuming their eyes can stay focused on it. Paving stones? Paving stoned more like.
You may recall that these are the very same flats where the developers’ boards promised views across Mediterranean rooftops rather than of a suburban railway bridge and a Tesco Express. I suppose we now have to call these things ‘alternative facts’. It’s a funny old world.
Room with a view… of the Med.
Twickerati 
going past it today, it cannot really be seen, due to build up of dirt and stuff…
And I notice they are having difficulty selling the flats, at more than 600,000!
The newly paved bit used to be a grass verge to the old building. Surely someone with such Mediterranean vision could have reinstated some greenery instead of going to all the trouble of cutting the paving especially to comic effect. Admittedly it wasn’t so much Mediterranean as suburban dog litter tray but still…..
And here’s what LBRuT have said in response on Twitter:
“We have checked the new pavement was put in by the private developer. We have already contacted them to discuss remedial works”
Just maybe, the wavy pavement lines represent the Med gently lapping the shores of Twickenham House. Just maybe.
Ian Nairn, you should be living at this hour ………
Ian Nairn’s terrific book Nairn’s London has an excellent section on Twickenham, praising in particular its section of the Thames – thanks, Mrs Robot, for the reminder. If you know someone who loves walking around London and its environs, do buy it for them. (Particularly if you like them.) Incidentally, and a propos of not much, I understand that the chriopractor on the Green used to be the home of the wonderful novelist Barbara Comyns. Twickenham is mentioned several times in her books.
Hmmm, just what we need – more empty retail space. Maybe the comedy paving will tempt a joke shop to open!
BTW, I’ve been assured by the property owner, a certain Mr B Fawlty: ‘You can see the sea! It’s over there between the land and the sky!’