El Brute has a pile of (your) dosh up for grabs to repair cracked pavements and fix pot holes in the streets of the 14 “villages” around the Borough.
A village street.
That’s right, if there are lanes in your village that can’t be fixed by chucking a bit of extra straw into them or which those damned farm carts keep churning up then you can apply to the Council to get them sorted out. Each village has a £35,000 pot hole to spend (did you see what we did there?) although how many cracks and holes that will repair isn’t stated.
If you want to get your hands on a slice of the loot you can either fill in a form or apply online. The deadline to nominate your favourite piece of sub-optimal street environment for the ol’ El Brute makeover is 13th December. Oh, and anyone who spots a crack in those shiny new York stone pavements in York Street will have the Blue Baron himself to deal with. And you can bet your bottom guinea that that won’t be pretty.
* Community Roads & Pavement Fund