And, in other news (culled from the Richmond and Twickenham Times)

May
Masked protesters from No To Mob turned up at York House to support local protests about parking fines. The aggrieved drivers & riders say the fines have been illegally levied by Richmond Council. Why illegally? Well, they say the spy cars which nabbed the “illegal” parkers were not properly licensed and therefore the fines are invalid. They want the fines refunded. Yes, parking enforcement does often seem overzealous and of course no one likes being spied on, least of all by an irritating little Smart car. But it’s not as if the car parkers are claiming that they were legally parked, they’re just saying a technicality renders the fines invalid. Perhaps El Brute should repay the fines… and close another library to make up the shortfall in its finances. It could happen.

The Council has announced that it is to spend £200,000 repairing pavements in the Borough. Goodo! The lolly for this jolly is coming from the central government’s highways projects rather than from your Council tax, so it’s a win win situation. It’s the great British taxpayer who is footing the bill for this, but fair play to Richmond Council because they got their hands on the money and the good people of, say, Scunthorpe or Hackney, did not. (Well they might have, but fact checking is like sooo boring). Either way, it’s a bit weird that the 10 roads that take priority are spread right across the Borough. It really is almost as if there’s one in every council ward! Round here the targets are Wellesley Road in Strawberry Hill (which is going to get some trees too) and Cassilis Road in St Margarets. Perhaps those two areas have been chosen to avoid the risks associated with taking a tumble whilst out pushing the Bugaboo. It could happen. It does happen. And after all, a flat pavement is a litigation free pavement.

And arguments rumble on about LBRuT’s desire to raise additional income to help make its finances work better. Its looking at raising £3m and it employed from PWC to help with the task. Charging for car parks at week-ends and in the evenings is one thing but charging more for allotments? Come on! How are the twickerati going to impress their friends with their Monty Don inspired parsnips and rocket if they actually have to start paying more for their plots? At the moment it’s possible to brag that allotment veg is cheaper and better than supermarket produce. Of course that assumes you ignore the cost of the many hours spent working the soil and the price of the tools, and of the seeds, and of the organic fertilizer. Clearly PWC consultants have never had a neighbour unload unwanted runner beans on their doorstep. On second thoughts, maybe they have.

Ancient news is below

December
Students at Richmond College in Twickenham have been banned from marching through Twickenham to protest at the government’s changes to higher education funding. The Richmond & Twickenham Times is reporting that police have denied permission for the march on the grounds of the short notice and potential disruption caused. The demonstrators had been hoping to make speeches and deliver a letter to Vince Cable’s constituency office in Red Lion Road. But it need not be a problem… one student could go the back way, pop over the footbridge, post the letter and be back at the college in no time, while the others keep tabs via Twitter updates from the comfort of the common room. Simples.

October
Brian Blessed has had to withdraw from this year’s pantomime at Richmond Theatre. Sorry that should read… BRIAN BLESSED HAS HAD TO WITHDRAW FROM THIS YEAR’S PANTOMIME AT RICHMOND THEATRE!!! Get well soon Brian. Anita Dobson will be the big name star of Sleeping Beauty instead. However, if you like your pantos over the top and decidely camp then head to Wimbledon as they have The Hoff and Louie “Pineapple Dance Studio” Spence treading the boards in SW19.

A skull has been found in the garden of living legend David Attenborough. Could that explain why he’s spent the last 50 years on the run, trekking round the world with just a pale blue shirt and a single pair of chinos for company? OK, so it’s thought to relate to a Victorian murder mystery but what the hell.

Local police will be putting on extra patrols for Halloween on Sunday. Apparently this is not to control young witches, wizards and zombies rampaging through the streets after OD-ing on Haribos but to keep an eye on the bigger ones who can’t quite resist dressing in strange clothes and skulking around on corners with pained expressions on their faces. That’s not Halloween, that’s normal Twickenham teen behaviour.